Yep, you read right, our school has a bug problem. Not we have a few cockroaches running around ora few crickets. We have had 2 teachers and a few kids bit by a mysterious bug. Our office manager has been in the hospital for 5 days and another teacher has been in and out all week. And yes, we are still in school...why? Cuz we have testing next week.
Our health insurace doesn't kick in till Saturday but this bug bite becomes serious within 24-48 hrs. And, our students rarely have health insurance or access to quality Drs. Many of us are extremely frustrated and numerous people have commented that they have had it. Good to know I'm not the only one extremely frustrated here...
And on teacher "left" last week. It's unclear about the circumstances but most of the feelings are he was either fired or pushed out. I also found out our charter organization is known for being "fire happy." Instead of working with teachers our organization feels it's easier to just fire them. I'm at my breaking point and feeling like this is all too much. If I didn't adore my kids I couldn't do this. It's such a joy to go into them every day but the rediculousness of the politics needs to stop.
If you can't tell I'm exhausted
On a better note, I spent some time today praying over my kids as they took a test. It's amazing how great of students I have, they are awesome, little, fun and still innocent. With almost every kid I prayed they wouldn't loose their childlikeness or grow up too fast. I love that they are still little and ignorant. I wish I could protect them from the world they are in but I know it will slowly get to them and it makes me so sad.
Sorry this post is kinda down, especially after not posting for a while but I'm just tired...really really tired
Wednesday, September 28, 2011
Saturday, September 17, 2011
Student Work
Here are some pictures of the fun projects we have done!
While learning about early humans, we studied cave drawings and each kid made their own using what they had learned.
I have two boards in the hallway to post my kids amazing work. Here is one filled with all the kids who earned a 100% on their vocabulary test!
The first week we also made family crests as a way for them to be introduced to history. They had to pick colors and objects that represented their families. A few kids were even willing to present and they really put their hearts into it!
This girl talked about how the rose represented her family and how every time someone died they would put out a red rose. She commented that they had put out roses constantly, to her it seemed there was always a rose out because so many people have died in her life.
All of them did a really great job on this assignment. It was one of my favorite ways to open up the class and get to know a little bit about their stories.
While learning about early humans, we studied cave drawings and each kid made their own using what they had learned.
I have two boards in the hallway to post my kids amazing work. Here is one filled with all the kids who earned a 100% on their vocabulary test!
All of them did a really great job on this assignment. It was one of my favorite ways to open up the class and get to know a little bit about their stories.
And Finally, Some Pictures~
I'm excited to finally be able to show some pictures! It was weird setting up a classroom for middle schoolers, I had always dreamed about my cute 1st or 2nd grade classroom. But I made do with what I had!
This is the front of my class, It slowly grew more and more colorful as I put up word wall words and added a few things but this is basically what it looks like.
The school is very strict on our "white board configuration. Every board and subject has to look like this, but since I teach 2 subjects mine is a little more confusing.
My desk and the college corner. It's in the front of the room also but I've realized I never sit at my desk :( It just holds my things until the end of the day.
This is my view most of the day. Imagine all those seats filled, there's a lot of them!
My ancient civilizations posters and a place for current events. Each week students are required to do a current event.
Those charts are now full of kids names and the standards they either have or have not mastered.
My history word wall which now has about 25 words on it since we're done with Unit 1. After each unit I add the words from the small word wall to this one.
And my English standards and posters. Those will be filled up on Monday since they have now taken their first English Unit test.
Hope that gives you a glimpse of what I see every day. I'll keep posting pictures to show how much it changes in a year!
Hope that gives you a glimpse of what I see every day. I'll keep posting pictures to show how much it changes in a year!
Friday, September 16, 2011
And Back to Stories About my Kids
Enough with all the political stuff...here's some more fun/sad stories from today.
I have one student who the first day I realized was very hyper, he can't focus, loves to talk and is really a sweet kid. I switched his seat immediately to the front of the room and since then he and I have a running joke about me needing to constantly keep an eye on him. We've developed a silly fun relationship and it's working, he got a great grade on his test!! Today I was teaching about figurative language and while talking about hyperbole's I mentioned that one hyperbole was the phrase, "it's raining cats and dogs." I could see him thinking about something but let him mull it over. I continued teaching and pointed out that the phrase is figurative language because it never literally rains cats and dogs. To which he responds, "yeah, because there would be a ton of dead dogs." At first I wondered why he had not said dead cats as well and realized the entire time he had been picturing cats and dogs falling from the sky but since cat's always land on their feet, in his mind they would be ok. I died laughing and had to completely stop my lesson. He realized I had caught on and we were rolling with laughter. No one else understood but we sure thought it was funny.
I also have a little posse of boys who follow me everywhere, if you know me you know that I love boys. Girls have always been difficult for me and my favorite students are always rowdy, rambunctious boys. They're the best! I'm being careful not to allow them to develop a crush and I always leave a door open and am never alone with them but they make me so happy. The other day one said, "Ms. DeForest, so you got like a boyfriend." "I'm sorry (student) but that is none of your business." He replied with, "well do you got like a husband or anything?" Again...none of your business. He informed me he was just asking so I replied, "Why? Do you have an older brother you're trying to set me up with?" All 5 boys died laughing, it was a great moment, its these moments of pure joy that keep me going!
We are also reading the book Roll of Thunder, Hear My Cry which is set in the 1930's and it depicts in great detail the racial tension and racism of the time. After talking through some difficult things one student in the back raised his hand and said really hesitantly, " Ms. DeForest, do people who....uh....you know...look like.... like you, I mean people who," I interrupted to say people who are white. He responds, "yeah, do white people not like...uh, you know, uh, people like, like me" Aka...Hispanics. Whenever students bring this up I give it to them straight, I don't think it is beneficial to hide it from them but I do try to protect them in my explanation. I told him that many people do not like Hispanics, I gave him some examples and then told him about how I have people close to me who dislike Hispanics as well. I really felt the need to open up and tell him how difficult it is for me to hear people talk about Hispanics poorly especially when my entire life is devoted to loving them. It was a huge moment for my class, no one was talking, no one interrupted. I'm learning that showing part of myself and letting them in helps them to feel connected and valued.
And now for a difficult one...
A girl in 8th grade wrote on one of her tests (her teacher is one of the people I carpool with so she shared this with me) about how she identified with a character in their story. The question asked if she had ever faced similar difficulty to the character (sorry I have no idea what the story was). She responded with "I think it's the same but I have seen difficulty when my mom struggles to make enough money to feed us. It has been especially hard since my baby sister has been born. It hurts me and is very hard to listen to her cry because she is hungry but we have nothing to give her because none of us have food."
And lastly we had 4 or 5 kids expelled today for alcohol on campus. One student brought alcohol to school, sold it to another student and that student passed it around to others. We're talking heavy alcohol...When I was 12 or 13 I barely knew what alcohol was and I had dinner every night on the table. I love my sister to death and it would have killed me to watch her cry in hunger. This is 25 miles from my house, not a foreign country. It hurts to know how much my kids suffer.
I have one student who the first day I realized was very hyper, he can't focus, loves to talk and is really a sweet kid. I switched his seat immediately to the front of the room and since then he and I have a running joke about me needing to constantly keep an eye on him. We've developed a silly fun relationship and it's working, he got a great grade on his test!! Today I was teaching about figurative language and while talking about hyperbole's I mentioned that one hyperbole was the phrase, "it's raining cats and dogs." I could see him thinking about something but let him mull it over. I continued teaching and pointed out that the phrase is figurative language because it never literally rains cats and dogs. To which he responds, "yeah, because there would be a ton of dead dogs." At first I wondered why he had not said dead cats as well and realized the entire time he had been picturing cats and dogs falling from the sky but since cat's always land on their feet, in his mind they would be ok. I died laughing and had to completely stop my lesson. He realized I had caught on and we were rolling with laughter. No one else understood but we sure thought it was funny.
I also have a little posse of boys who follow me everywhere, if you know me you know that I love boys. Girls have always been difficult for me and my favorite students are always rowdy, rambunctious boys. They're the best! I'm being careful not to allow them to develop a crush and I always leave a door open and am never alone with them but they make me so happy. The other day one said, "Ms. DeForest, so you got like a boyfriend." "I'm sorry (student) but that is none of your business." He replied with, "well do you got like a husband or anything?" Again...none of your business. He informed me he was just asking so I replied, "Why? Do you have an older brother you're trying to set me up with?" All 5 boys died laughing, it was a great moment, its these moments of pure joy that keep me going!
We are also reading the book Roll of Thunder, Hear My Cry which is set in the 1930's and it depicts in great detail the racial tension and racism of the time. After talking through some difficult things one student in the back raised his hand and said really hesitantly, " Ms. DeForest, do people who....uh....you know...look like.... like you, I mean people who," I interrupted to say people who are white. He responds, "yeah, do white people not like...uh, you know, uh, people like, like me" Aka...Hispanics. Whenever students bring this up I give it to them straight, I don't think it is beneficial to hide it from them but I do try to protect them in my explanation. I told him that many people do not like Hispanics, I gave him some examples and then told him about how I have people close to me who dislike Hispanics as well. I really felt the need to open up and tell him how difficult it is for me to hear people talk about Hispanics poorly especially when my entire life is devoted to loving them. It was a huge moment for my class, no one was talking, no one interrupted. I'm learning that showing part of myself and letting them in helps them to feel connected and valued.
And now for a difficult one...
A girl in 8th grade wrote on one of her tests (her teacher is one of the people I carpool with so she shared this with me) about how she identified with a character in their story. The question asked if she had ever faced similar difficulty to the character (sorry I have no idea what the story was). She responded with "I think it's the same but I have seen difficulty when my mom struggles to make enough money to feed us. It has been especially hard since my baby sister has been born. It hurts me and is very hard to listen to her cry because she is hungry but we have nothing to give her because none of us have food."
And lastly we had 4 or 5 kids expelled today for alcohol on campus. One student brought alcohol to school, sold it to another student and that student passed it around to others. We're talking heavy alcohol...When I was 12 or 13 I barely knew what alcohol was and I had dinner every night on the table. I love my sister to death and it would have killed me to watch her cry in hunger. This is 25 miles from my house, not a foreign country. It hurts to know how much my kids suffer.
Resolution...kinda
So the meeting went better than I expected, after a little beating around the bush we finally got down to the nitty gritty. He eventually said, "well I'm glad we've talked everything through." I didn't want to walk out of the conversation feeling like I didn't have a voice so I continued and brought up multiple issues that I have seen. It was interesting to realize he didn't understand many of the issues. This I'm sure is complicated to read, you'd need to back story but like I said, this just isn't the place.
Last night I couldn't fall asleep and God constantly brought me back to that verse. The few lines that stuck out most were "Rejoice in the Lord always, I will say it again, Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all." Knowing I was going into a converstation with a lot of conflict gentleness was definately needed. I am not gentle, my name actually means strong and mighty...this whole gentleness thing is something I'm not good at. Over and over I kept repeating those verses. The entire passage has spoken to me on many occasions, it is an incredible thing to see God's word and truth be relevant in so many areas.
Also, as I was praying through things last night God showed me that much of this is spiritual warfare. I don't show up to work because I want a paycheck, I do it because I wholly believe this is where I am called to be, this is my mission field. I have been loving it and seeing God work so faithfully and intricately and part of this was the devil invading that. I also began to realize that I work in a fallen world, I am and work with fallen people, it won't be perfect and can't be perfect. It doesn't make it any easier but it's helpful to be reminded that this isn't how it was intended to be.
I left today feeling better about where I am at but also realizing that this is part of working at this school. There are adjustments I will have to make in myself, like gentleness :) in order to make this work. I want nothing more than to bring glory to God in this school, It's scary to say it but I'll do what it takes
Last night I couldn't fall asleep and God constantly brought me back to that verse. The few lines that stuck out most were "Rejoice in the Lord always, I will say it again, Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all." Knowing I was going into a converstation with a lot of conflict gentleness was definately needed. I am not gentle, my name actually means strong and mighty...this whole gentleness thing is something I'm not good at. Over and over I kept repeating those verses. The entire passage has spoken to me on many occasions, it is an incredible thing to see God's word and truth be relevant in so many areas.
Also, as I was praying through things last night God showed me that much of this is spiritual warfare. I don't show up to work because I want a paycheck, I do it because I wholly believe this is where I am called to be, this is my mission field. I have been loving it and seeing God work so faithfully and intricately and part of this was the devil invading that. I also began to realize that I work in a fallen world, I am and work with fallen people, it won't be perfect and can't be perfect. It doesn't make it any easier but it's helpful to be reminded that this isn't how it was intended to be.
I left today feeling better about where I am at but also realizing that this is part of working at this school. There are adjustments I will have to make in myself, like gentleness :) in order to make this work. I want nothing more than to bring glory to God in this school, It's scary to say it but I'll do what it takes
Thursday, September 15, 2011
Emptied and Exhausted
Today, the situation I mentioned earlier only got worse. I have a meeting with the principal in the morning over issues that shouldn't be there. I'm definately feeling the spiritual struggle of doing what I know God wants but being filled with doubt at the same time.
Today I have thought...
I want to quit,
This isn't where I should be
This is never going to work
Should I even be a teacher?
Am I making a difference?
Am I dishonoring God in this position?
How much longer can I do this?
I'm at the end, I don't know how much more I can give and how much more lies I can take. I'm tired of living in a world and practicing a profession that is so filled with guilt, lies, betrayal. I want to be a teacher who deeply loves kids and doesn't worry about the politics of it all.
I'm unable to sleep knowing this will be a long night in anticipation for tomorrow and clinging to Jesus, hoping he guides my meeting tomorrow. And then I'm gently reminded of the verse God gave me on the first day of school.
Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you.
Philippians 4:4-9
God put this on my verse the first day of school as I was anxious for a new year, and today in one of the most desperate places I've been I'm reminded to rejoice always. I love that he repeats with "I will say it again," like he's saying don't miss this, it's important.
I am clinging to what is right, what is noble, what is true, what is pure...lovely...admirable and praying the peace of God is in me. I don't know where else to turn, I don't know what else to do.
Jesus be before me, be in me and be with me as I face tomorrow.
Wednesday, September 14, 2011
Week 5!
Really, has it already been 5 weeks. It's flown by, today was the first day though that I felt semi normal. Yesterday I went grocery shopping on a weekday and today I managed to get in my first run since school started.
Monday I started BTSA...the credentialing program that will give me my clear credential. I currently have a preliminary credential. To "clear" my preliminary credential I have to complete a 2 yr program. Today I met my supervisor, she is amazing and by law she can't report anything to my principal. She is a huge support not only as far as teaching but emotionally. She has 25 yrs of experience and is like an old aunt helping me through this sticky process. I'm super excited to work with her which is a great thing because she will be in my class 2-3 times a week!
I would love prayer on a difficult situation at work. Because this is a public place I don't feel its the best place to share in detail but the longer I'm in this school the more things I struggle with. It's making it difficult to want to go to work. I sometimes dread going until one of my kids pops in...if it wasn't for them I don't know how long I could do this...all aspects of teaching are hard.
On a happier note, I kept 6 students in from their break to make up homework. One girl said "You're becoming one of my favorite teachers!" to which I replied, "only becoming, I'm everyone's favorite." I like to help them remember how great I am, does wonders for my ego. I was completely joking but rest chimed in on how they loved my class and loved that I was "real" with them. After struggling for the past few weeks its such a good reminder to ground myself in why I'm there...to be the favorite...ok kidding, I love my kids and I would do just about anything for them.
Sorry there aren't a ton of fun/cute or riveting stories, part of being a teacher is doing the mundane day to day stuff. I'm hoping to get my camera cord this weekend so I can finally post pictures. I'd love prayers for this awkward situation and with dealing with a student who has been a huge challenge these last few days. It's a huge comfort to know I'm covered in prayer and God is standing with me in this.
Monday I started BTSA...the credentialing program that will give me my clear credential. I currently have a preliminary credential. To "clear" my preliminary credential I have to complete a 2 yr program. Today I met my supervisor, she is amazing and by law she can't report anything to my principal. She is a huge support not only as far as teaching but emotionally. She has 25 yrs of experience and is like an old aunt helping me through this sticky process. I'm super excited to work with her which is a great thing because she will be in my class 2-3 times a week!
I would love prayer on a difficult situation at work. Because this is a public place I don't feel its the best place to share in detail but the longer I'm in this school the more things I struggle with. It's making it difficult to want to go to work. I sometimes dread going until one of my kids pops in...if it wasn't for them I don't know how long I could do this...all aspects of teaching are hard.
On a happier note, I kept 6 students in from their break to make up homework. One girl said "You're becoming one of my favorite teachers!" to which I replied, "only becoming, I'm everyone's favorite." I like to help them remember how great I am, does wonders for my ego. I was completely joking but rest chimed in on how they loved my class and loved that I was "real" with them. After struggling for the past few weeks its such a good reminder to ground myself in why I'm there...to be the favorite...ok kidding, I love my kids and I would do just about anything for them.
Sorry there aren't a ton of fun/cute or riveting stories, part of being a teacher is doing the mundane day to day stuff. I'm hoping to get my camera cord this weekend so I can finally post pictures. I'd love prayers for this awkward situation and with dealing with a student who has been a huge challenge these last few days. It's a huge comfort to know I'm covered in prayer and God is standing with me in this.
Thursday, September 1, 2011
Update On My Student and Other Fun Stuff
That same sweet girl I had the awesome talk with last week came to me again (I hate that I can't write her name here). We were just having a chat and she brought up that she works. At first I honestly didn't believe her, she is 13 but after talking a little longer I realized it was true. On Wednesday, when we get out earlier, she goes to work and she works all day Sat and Sun. She does what she needs to to help her family. At thirteen I was liking Backstreet boys and carving mine and my crush's initials into my windowsill. I wasn't going to work to help pay bills. Such a different life my kids lead. I wish I could adopt them all and give them some innocence back.
I gave my first test today, I still haven't graded them yet but I'm excited to see how they did. I gave a vocabulary test yesterday and I had over 35 kids get a 100% Yay!! I'm so proud of them!
While they were taking the test today I spent a few minutes praying for each of them. I prayed over my classroom when I was setting it up but it's so different now that I know names, faces and some of their stories. Numerous times I thanked Jesus for how sweet and tender my kids are, for how they show compassion and care for one another. I found myself repeating over and over again that I wanted God help them to keep their sweet spirits. What a mighty Kingdom I am apart of and what mighty things my kids could do with their lives. It's my biggest prayer that they could come along side me in this beautiful faith.
On a similar note, my own 6th grade teacher used to give us 2 minutes before a test to be silent. I knew she was a Christian but she never pushed anything on us. She posed it as a time to collect and prepare ourselves for the test. I remember using that as a quick prayer time. While I was driving to work this morning I remembered it (coincidence huh? love the subtle ways God helps me out in my classroom). Before each period began their test I had them put their heads down on their desk. I told them they could use the 2 minutes to pray, to calm themselves and take deep breaths or to quietly motivate themselves. Not a single student made a peep (which is surprising because that never happens). Numerous kids folded their hands and began praying. Tears of joy filled my eyes as I realized what a great place I get to teach. I adore that my kids feel comfortable praying in my class. It may sound silly but I almost always cry when I realize the vastness of Christ's Kingdom. I love that It spreads across generations, racial or socio-economic lines. Jesus loves all and I loved watching that be displayed in my classroom.
I would love you to pray that God would continually "remind" me of areas I can blatantly bring Him in. I would also love prayer for my sweet student who has to work to help support the family. I would love nothing more than to watch her be a kid and get to bask in the joy of childhood. Pray also that this love and excitement for my job would continue all year long.
I gave my first test today, I still haven't graded them yet but I'm excited to see how they did. I gave a vocabulary test yesterday and I had over 35 kids get a 100% Yay!! I'm so proud of them!
While they were taking the test today I spent a few minutes praying for each of them. I prayed over my classroom when I was setting it up but it's so different now that I know names, faces and some of their stories. Numerous times I thanked Jesus for how sweet and tender my kids are, for how they show compassion and care for one another. I found myself repeating over and over again that I wanted God help them to keep their sweet spirits. What a mighty Kingdom I am apart of and what mighty things my kids could do with their lives. It's my biggest prayer that they could come along side me in this beautiful faith.
On a similar note, my own 6th grade teacher used to give us 2 minutes before a test to be silent. I knew she was a Christian but she never pushed anything on us. She posed it as a time to collect and prepare ourselves for the test. I remember using that as a quick prayer time. While I was driving to work this morning I remembered it (coincidence huh? love the subtle ways God helps me out in my classroom). Before each period began their test I had them put their heads down on their desk. I told them they could use the 2 minutes to pray, to calm themselves and take deep breaths or to quietly motivate themselves. Not a single student made a peep (which is surprising because that never happens). Numerous kids folded their hands and began praying. Tears of joy filled my eyes as I realized what a great place I get to teach. I adore that my kids feel comfortable praying in my class. It may sound silly but I almost always cry when I realize the vastness of Christ's Kingdom. I love that It spreads across generations, racial or socio-economic lines. Jesus loves all and I loved watching that be displayed in my classroom.
I would love you to pray that God would continually "remind" me of areas I can blatantly bring Him in. I would also love prayer for my sweet student who has to work to help support the family. I would love nothing more than to watch her be a kid and get to bask in the joy of childhood. Pray also that this love and excitement for my job would continue all year long.
Did I mention I LOVE my job?
I have the greatest job, seriously, it's amazing. Another teacher assigned her kids to write a letter to their favorite teacher. I've been feeling really sick all week so imagine my surprise and delight to be handed 4 letters all about why kids love my class. Here's what they said (spelling/grammar errors included):
Dear Ms. Deforest,
The weekends are almost here. You tought me inglish and history. Your aswome, cool, and funny at the same time. You make learning fun and cool lots of writing and Homework. You are my big time favorite teacher.
Sincerely your
student, ________________(Signed male student's name)
September 1, 2011
Dear Ms. Deforest,
I want to thank you because you explain everything clearly. I also want to tahnk you because you are really helping me to get better at World History and English. I enjoy both classes but I like World History better. I like it better because it really camptures my attenttion. I'm not say English is boring I am just saying that I alwaysd liked history better. I also think that you are going to help me do well on the CST. (State standardized test in May). I think this because I can see myself improve in World History and English. I know I won't be able to repay you but at least I can do is pay attention and listen.
Sincerly,
___________________(Signed male student's name)
9-1-11
Dear Ms. Deforest,
So far this year I have really liked your class. Also I am looking forward to learn all about english. I am also looking forward to history. Also thank you for all those points you give me in history and english (my ridiculous drawings, exaggerated anecdotes etc.) Theya re going to come in handy today!! (Gave my first test) A am writing this letter because you are such a good teacher ! :)
Sincerly,
________________________(Signed male student's name)
Dear Ms. DeForest (first to spell my name right!)
thankyou for being so nice to me. I love your class it fun. Thankyou for helping me in my quiz and Test. Sometimes I get A or B and sometimes C I will work hard to have good greads. Thankyou for help ous you are good teacher.
From,
____________________________ (signed female student's name)
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