Monday, October 1, 2012

Exhaustion has hit

This past week has been hard. My body reacts to the stress, exhaustion and frustration of the day to day rigor. Last Thursday I went home sick, I was dizzy, nauseous and had a raging headache. My wonderful husband drove all the way to my school to pick me up. As soon as I left school I felt so much better. By that evening the anxiety of going back to work on Friday was making me sick again. I finally decided to listen and just take some time to rest.

Coming into work today I was feeling similar to last week but reality is I only get 10 sick days so I had to go. Part of why I dreaded today was I knew I had to have a meeting with an irate mother and the principal. My student had twisted a conversation we had as a class and the parents was threatening to report me to the district. While I knew her complaint had no validity or weight but I still didn't want to have to deal with it. Like I thought it wasn't a big deal, the mom had calmed down significantly and the meeting was over in 3.5 minutes.

I thought that would be the hardest part of my day but after the mom left my principal asked me to stay. She let me know one of my students probably wouldn't be in class today. This student has struggled with anxiety and depression which we believed were from bullying. Over the course of the past few weeks it's become much more serious and my student, in an attempt for help, made some sad and desperate decisions. Since day one of school this student hasn't said a word. I'm learning a lot about "selective mutism" and how to communicate with a student who won't even look me in the eyes. It's frustrating, exhausting and baffling. Without ever using their voice, my student spoke out loud and clear of the inner turmoil they've faced for a while now.

What I thought was going to be a frustrating day turned out to be a spiritually and emotionally draining day. Please pray for understanding and grace for this student, but also protection of them physically, emotionally and spiritually. Pray that I can love the hurt in my students even though it makes me want to run.

On a little lighter note...rumor spread quick that I am pregnant! My first period knew I went home nauseous and light headed so in their minds that automatically meant I was pregnant. I took 5 min to clarify that it was not true which turned into an argument about why I'm not pregnant yet. Without realizing it I opened a debate with 32 ten year olds about my fertility...yikes! Sticky territory, I quickly stopped the conversation and gave them their benchmark assessment...how's that for revenge!

I can't believe it's only Monday

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