Consider it Pure Joy

Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you. But when you ask, you must believe and not doubt, because the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. That person should not expect to receive anything from the Lord. Such a person is double-minded and unstable in all they do.

Believers in humble circumstances ought to take pride in their high position. But the rich should take pride in their humiliation—since they will pass away like a wild flower. For the sun rises with scorching heat and withers the plant; its blossom falls and its beauty is destroyed. In the same way, the rich will fade away even while they go about their business.

Blessed is the one who perseveres under trial because, having stood the test, that person will receive the crown of life that the Lord has promised to those who love him.

James 1: 2-12

This week has been hard to say the least. Tonight I came home from work and Chris and I talked through how hard it is for me to separate my emotion of my job from the rest of my life. While it's exhausting, depleting and frustrating I do consider it pure joy that I get to invest in these kids lives. 

In reflecting on last year, it's such a huge joy to get to focus on my students. Last year it wasn't even an option. I was constantly consumed with fears and anxiety of being fired, going through the depression of having an oppressive boss and difficult co-worker. I couldn't invest in my students because of the rest of the crap I had to go through.

This year I get the privilege of walking the hard road with my students. I get to be concerned with their depression, anger, and behavior issues. I get to privately tutor my students who are reading at a Pre-K level because the energy wasted in my anxiety is now freed up. I consider it pure joy that I am here, in this difficult, frustrating, emotionally draining classroom because in the suffering with them, we get to persevere, we get to mature and we get to go to God for wisdom. 

Thank you Jesus that you have entrusted these kids to me. Let my heart always break for their suffering, let me always be their advocate and protector, break my heart for what breaks yours. Let me have the energy to keep up with the emotion so I can love them the way only You do. Thank you Jesus that you put me here and that you promise you will walk this road with me.

Exhaustion has hit

This past week has been hard. My body reacts to the stress, exhaustion and frustration of the day to day rigor. Last Thursday I went home sick, I was dizzy, nauseous and had a raging headache. My wonderful husband drove all the way to my school to pick me up. As soon as I left school I felt so much better. By that evening the anxiety of going back to work on Friday was making me sick again. I finally decided to listen and just take some time to rest.

Coming into work today I was feeling similar to last week but reality is I only get 10 sick days so I had to go. Part of why I dreaded today was I knew I had to have a meeting with an irate mother and the principal. My student had twisted a conversation we had as a class and the parents was threatening to report me to the district. While I knew her complaint had no validity or weight but I still didn't want to have to deal with it. Like I thought it wasn't a big deal, the mom had calmed down significantly and the meeting was over in 3.5 minutes.

I thought that would be the hardest part of my day but after the mom left my principal asked me to stay. She let me know one of my students probably wouldn't be in class today. This student has struggled with anxiety and depression which we believed were from bullying. Over the course of the past few weeks it's become much more serious and my student, in an attempt for help, made some sad and desperate decisions. Since day one of school this student hasn't said a word. I'm learning a lot about "selective mutism" and how to communicate with a student who won't even look me in the eyes. It's frustrating, exhausting and baffling. Without ever using their voice, my student spoke out loud and clear of the inner turmoil they've faced for a while now.

What I thought was going to be a frustrating day turned out to be a spiritually and emotionally draining day. Please pray for understanding and grace for this student, but also protection of them physically, emotionally and spiritually. Pray that I can love the hurt in my students even though it makes me want to run.

On a little lighter note...rumor spread quick that I am pregnant! My first period knew I went home nauseous and light headed so in their minds that automatically meant I was pregnant. I took 5 min to clarify that it was not true which turned into an argument about why I'm not pregnant yet. Without realizing it I opened a debate with 32 ten year olds about my fertility...yikes! Sticky territory, I quickly stopped the conversation and gave them their benchmark assessment...how's that for revenge!

I can't believe it's only Monday

We Saw Endeavour

I was so excited when I heard the space shuttle Endeavour was coming to L.A. We are directly in the landing path to LAX so I was confident we would get to see it. My kids were taking a test and I was following posts on twitter trying to keep track of it. My kids finished their test 2 minutes after I saw that Endeavour was over Santa Monica so we ran out and got a quick glimpse of it. I knew it would still come back to land so we stayed out an extra 10 minutes over lunch and boy did we get a great show. Endeavour and 2 fighter jets accompanying flew directly over us. My kids were all screaming, waving and clapping. Numerous kids screamed "We just watched history." They sure know how to make this history teacher's heart happy.

We are so excited to take the kids to the Science Center for a field trip later this year. They will get to see it up close after getting to see its last flight.

Homework Tonight is to Study

Those words to my kids mean "Night without homework." After struggling to get my kids to study last year I realized this year....they actually have no idea how to study. We have a major district test coming up in a week and we just happened to have an extra day to review. I took the day to teach them study techniques and then let them practice. One major problem of this generation (or this generation in LAUSD) is they can't create anything. They are experts on taking in information and then spitting it back out but for them to creatively think up a concept on their own is like pulling teeth.

So after 45 minutes of teaching them techniques  (flashcards, foldables, re-writing notes, listening to notes, reading their notes, drawing pictures)...then 20 minutes of me refusing to tell them what to put on their flashcards etc. here is what they came up with...

Wish I could show you her sweet face but she decided the method she liked best was to re-write her notes.

Others chose to make flashcards and got really creative with them! This student did the word on the front and then drew a picture as a "hint" she had a separate color coded flashcard with the important information

 One of my most challenging students was totally silent and caused no behavior disruptions. When I finally went to check in on him I was so excited to see waht he came up with all on his own (I know it was all on his own because he is too disruptive to sit with anyone else so he is completely alone at his desk)!

It may not seem like much but it was a huge improvement!

Another student combined flashcards, re-writing notes and pictures

 Another decided to make his into a comic

And yet another made a foldable with the 6 major components of civilizations and specifics about Mesopotamia on the back of the flap

Easily the hardest part of my job is teaching my students to think for themselves. It's awkward and uncomfortable for them and slow and frustrating for me. But in week 7 or 40, I'm proud of their work and can't wait to see what they can create at the end of the year.

The Calm Before The Storm

Every Monday and Thursday I get to enjoy the sacred silence of my classroom during my prep period. I live for this time, it's a great time of reflection, prayer and reaming for the future of the kids who will fill those seats.  I'm enjoying this year so much more than last year. It's amazing to be able to focus on the kids, what they need and how to best grow their hearts and minds. So thankful these quiet times are filled with planning and not worrying this year!

Back By Popular Demand

I started this last year to remember all of my first year. My goal was to record all the triumphs, struggles, the little details etc. Now I would do anything to forget that year...so I'm trying again. I don't think anyone other than Kat or my parents actually read this but I figure eventually I will want this written down.

So for starters...the entire nation is about to revamp their method or assessing students/teachers. With the new Common Core beginning in 2014, my charter is well under way in preparing for it. It basically will require a lot more written work in all classes. To get our students ready early we are implementing a full scale, highly interactive and specific reading program. Basically, it will involve students reading, discussing and writing about their reading for about an hour every day.

I'm really passionate about getting this up and running. Probably the most discouraging and frustrating fact I've ever learned is that California (maybe all states) take the reading scores of their 3rd grade students. Based off of that number they build the states prison cells. For years there has been a direct correlation between the score of a 9 year old kid and the likelihood of them going to jail. Evidence shows that students who fall behind by 3rd grade rarely make up that deficit. After administering a diagnostic to all my students I have 2 (of 95) on grade level. I have most reading on a 2-3 grade reading level and I have 3 reading BELOW a PRE-K! Some where along the way my kids have been failed...It's a huge task but I'm excited to help these 95 kids break that statistic!  

It takes a lot of planning on my part and a lot of books...check out my genre library

I just taught genre so this is fun to see them talking about their favorite genre and then being able to identify what books are part of that genre.

Here is the rest of my library. I'm so thankful I found I could work at Scholastic Book sales and make $20 in book credits every hour. 2 summers ago I spent weeks working in their warehouse so I could build this...some of the best hours I've ever spent.